Put your
entire trust in the Master Jesus. Then you’ll live as you were meant to live.
Acts 16:31
“I don't
always know where this life is going. I can't see the end of the road, but here
is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking
the first step. It is about Peter getting out of the boat, stepping out onto
the water with complete faith that Jesus will not let him drown.” -Katie Davis
Jesus said, “Anyone
who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s
seat-I am.” Luke 9:23
God doesn’t
want us to be shy with his gifts, but BOLD, and loving and sensible.
2 Timothy 1:7
This past year I have spent a good
amount of time praying about the future. (As a lot of people in their last year
of college do) The past five years have been dedicated to preparing me to be
ready for the future and somehow it got here so much faster than I anticipated
it would. As a freshmen, looking to this time in my life I thought I’d have it
all figured out by now. I’d graduate with my Masters in education, get a job,
and start teaching. But it’s funny how God likes to throw loopholes into our
plans. While I am absolutely loving student teaching and fully believe that
this is the profession that God wants me to be in, lately I’ve felt a sense of
discontent in the thought of starting that right away. I can’t shake the feeling that instead God is
leading me down a bit of a different path for now.
I
have loved every second of college and if I really stop to think about how in a
few months I won’t be in this place anymore surrounded by some of the people I
love the most, I get close to having a bit of an emotional breakdown. I think
that God has placed certain people into my life for a reason and given me experiences
that have helped to draw me closer to Him and shape me little by little to be closer to
the person that He has created me to be. He’s taken me places I never thought I’d
go and given me chances to see Him do incredible things.
He
got me out of my comfort zone when He called me to work my first summer away at
camp in Indiana, teaching me that His plans far surpass those of my own. The
next summer on the Blackfeet Indian Reservation in Heart Butte, Montana, He
showed me that He will ALWAYS come through when I need Him, providing me with
just what I need at just the right time. He gave me patience and wisdom beyond what
I could fathom and provided me with a support system of a family on the rez
when I needed one most being so far from my real family. In Guatemala, He reminded
me that to fully trust Him means to actually give up my little sphere of
control, completely surrender and believe that He’s got this covered. Then just
when I was dumb enough to think He was taking a bit of a break in my life
(because I was too blinded to see Him at work all around me, all the time), He
decided He’d show up in some pretty big ways again. I’m thankful that I have a
God who is willing to make His works obvious enough that no matter what, I can’t
miss them because I can be pretty oblivious sometimes. Never would I have ever
imagined that He’d allow me to be one of His instruments at the Crossing, getting
the opportunity to love and serve His children alongside one of my best friends.
Holy
moly, it’s crazy to think that the Creator of the universe knows me intimately
enough to know that one of the things I struggle with in my life the most is
fully and completely trusting Him with every aspect of my life. And knowing
this, He knows that unless I have opportunities to practice that trust ALL the
time, I will lose it completely. So, instead He puts these crazy chances to
trust Him in my life all the time, and then I fail at them, and then He STILL
keeps giving them to me. So here’s the newest little trust exercise He’s
decided to throw my way…I’M GOING TO AFRICA!
I’ll
be leaving next year, January 11, 2016 and will be staying for 6 months through
a program called Immersion through Experience Mission. I will travel with a
team of 7-14 people that are between the ages of 18-30 and our time will be split between South Africa, Lesotho, and Namibia. While there
I will be living with host families and working alongside already established
service partners doing things such as working at a disabilities center, running
vacation bible schools, helping out at the schools, and serving wherever
needed. I’ve been told that I could be eating the same food day after day,
sleeping on the floor on a mat, and bathing in the river. The scariest part is
the thought of having to fit EVERYTHING for 6 months in one backpack…This alone
seems nearly impossible since I do not have a history of being the lightest
packer. But while all of this seems absolutely terrifying at times, I’m really
pumped to see what God is going to do through it. He's never failed me yet so I know He won't now, somehow He's going to make me brave. I’m not going because the
people there need me, because they definitely do not. In fact, I probably need
them more than they need me. But I’m going because I think that God is going to
use this to work in my life and grow my personal faith in amazing ways. The
fact that while He is doing that, He will also choose to work through me to
minister to the people there, blows my mind. I don’t deserve this opportunity
to be His hands and feet because I can never possibly measure up but I know
that regardless, He will use my insignificant self anyway and that alone is
going to change me.
I have also felt that God has placed it on my heart to return to Guatemala. He's doing big things there, His love is spreading like crazy, and I want to be a part of it. Since St. Marks has such strong ties with CALMS (Central American Lutheran Mission Society) already and returns there twice a year, I feel like it is really beneficial to continue to invest in that country. I was very much blessed by my time there, having my faith greatly impacted by the friends I've made there and I want those relationships to continue to grow. Since I will not be leaving for Africa until next year, this means I will be free from May when I finish student teaching to January when I leave. So, I think I am going to return to Guatemala for the summer again!
I have also felt that God has placed it on my heart to return to Guatemala. He's doing big things there, His love is spreading like crazy, and I want to be a part of it. Since St. Marks has such strong ties with CALMS (Central American Lutheran Mission Society) already and returns there twice a year, I feel like it is really beneficial to continue to invest in that country. I was very much blessed by my time there, having my faith greatly impacted by the friends I've made there and I want those relationships to continue to grow. Since I will not be leaving for Africa until next year, this means I will be free from May when I finish student teaching to January when I leave. So, I think I am going to return to Guatemala for the summer again!
I know that some people
have trouble understanding foreign missions because there is so much work to be
done right where we are and I completely agree with that 100%. But I also believe
that God makes us all different, giving us different interests, passions,
personalities, and dreams. And for some reason, He put in me a heart for
missions. I think that He did this for a reason and because of it, I feel
responsible to give it some attention, using the gifts He has given me to
follow His purpose. There are ministries here at home that God has equipped
others to do, that I could never do. It’s awesome to think about how
intricately we are created to all work together to fulfill the ultimate plan of
bringing the light of Jesus to this broken world. I have NO idea what I will
possibly be contributing to that plan in Africa but I trust that He is going to
use this experience for His good.
Right now, it all just
seems super far away so I don’t feel like it’s real but I know that it will be
here soon enough. In the waiting, I know that I will have plenty of fears and doubts
(in fact, they’ve already started creeping up) so I ask that you support me by
praying for me, asking God to shower me with the confidence and peace that only
He can give. I also pray that I don’t lose sight of all that He is doing around
me while I’m still here, remembering that His timing is perfect. I am SO
excited for this next adventure!!
